I appreciated the excellent character of my tutor, and the
respect my lackey showed me no longer seemed objectionable. With the
freedom that I enjoyed, and the unlimited money at my command, and the
restless energy of youth, it is astonishing that I did not fall into
some excess, were it only gambling, which might well have appealed to
my combative instincts. It was my own ignorance of everything that
prevented this; it made me extremely suspicious, and the abbe, who was
very observant, and held himself responsible for my actions, managed
most cleverly to work upon my haughty reserve. He increased it in regard
to such things as might have done me harm, and dispelled it in contrary
cases. Moreover, he was careful to provide me with sufficient reasonable
distractions, which while they could not take the place of the joys
of love, served at least to lessen the smart of its wounds. As to
temptations to debauchery, I felt none. I had too much pride to yearn
for any woman in which I had not seen, as in Edmee, the first of her
sex.
We used all to meet at dinner, and as a rule we paid visits in the
evening. By observing the world from a corner of a drawing-room, I
learnt more of it in a few days than I should have done in a whole
year from guesses and inquiries. I doubt whether I should ever have
understood society, if I had always been obliged to view it from a
certain distance.
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