1. What was the name of the dwarf bloke in the TV show 'Fantasy Island'? 2. What is singer Prince's real name? 3. Whom did Naseem Hamed beat to win his first world _title_ fight? 4. How tall is well-known short arse Coronation Street actor and Scum    fan Michael LeVell? (A clue: not fucking very!) 5. In which TV series did Danny DeVito first appear? 6. ET was played by a midget in a suit who breathed through his arse.    True or false? 7. Which singer/songwriter penned the song 'Short People'? 8. On which famous Monkees hit single was stunted singer Davy Jones    heard to say: Just cos I'm short, man. ? 9. What has a hazlenut in every bite? 10. For which chocolate confectionery did former Goodie and scruffy twat     birdwatcher Bill Oddie do the voice over? 11. Behind Snickers and Twix, what is Mars confectionery's third best     selling chocolate bar in the UK? (A clue: They're shite.) 12. Which famous red-wrapped chocolate bar did Mick Jagger not stuff up     his sixties girlfriend Marianne Faithfull's cunt because it was     actually a Mars Bar. Allegedly. 13. The word optic is an anagram of which well-known chocolate bar? (A     clue, Marianne Faithfull did not have one launched up her twat by a     Rolling Stone.) 14. Derby County are known as The Rams. Rams is another anagram for     yet another well-known chocolate bar. Which one? (A clue: Mick     Jagger had one that tasted of fish.) 15. Dustin Hoffman, famous short-arsed Hollywood actor, once starred in     a film with the name of a chocolate bar in the _title_, with Sir     Lawrence Olivier. Only they're not called this any more because the     name was changed. And it's not the one that's an anagram of optic     either...that would be stupid. If you've ever seen the film, that     is. Anyway, it wasn't that one, and as far as I know none of these     were ever clefted up the spam alley of any tuneless British slapper     singing stars of the sixties. Though you never know... 16. In Swaziland the Bounty bar is used as a unit of height for     measuring pygmies, meaning that some are as short as 12.5 Bounties.     True or complete and utter bollocks? 17. What was the nickname of sawn-off ugly fucker ex-Tory shagabout     filth-bag Chelsea fan and annoying little bastard David Mellor     in his Parilament days? Was it Twix because he was always eating     them? Or was it Twat because he fucking is one. 18. Little shitbag Ronan Keating, lead vocalist of bog-trotting inbred     boy band Boyzone, sings with such a high voice because:     a) he's fucking queer     b) little jumped up cunts like him always have high voices. There's        fuck all they can do about it.     c) there is always at least one certain red-wrapped chocolate bar        shoved up his Gary Glitter. 19. Talking of Gary Glitter...what reason did Nestle give in late 1996     for cancelling his three-year deal to advertise Milky Bars? (A clue:     it's not what you're thinking, you filthy bastard!) 20. You don't see many white dog turds any more because Mars use them     to put that nuggety shite into their fucking chocolate bars so it     sticks to your fucking teeth all bastard day. True or false? There. I said it was a short and on-topic quiz. hehe.

20. You don't see many white dog turds any more because Mars use them    to put that nuggety shite into their fucking chocolate bars so it    sticks to your fucking teeth all bastard day. True or false? True I can't wait to find out how I did.

9. What has a hazlenut in every bite? Can't think of anything funny Try Squirrel shit....  Iechyd da!   John   This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it  Merseyside UK  Fri, 11 Jun 1999 00:03 +0100

20. You don't see many white dog turds any more because Mars use them    to put that nuggety shite into their fucking chocolate bars so it    sticks to your fucking teeth all bastard day. True or false? True. I need a toothbrush.