Dear Chad,                  I know you feel bad taking the medication but you have given me so much inspiration and hope for the future. You seem like a person who was put on this earth for a definite purpose by whoever or whatever! I'm nor a believer but I think that in this vast universe there may be some superior intelligent life-force that may or may not it's self known, but if it did would congratulate you ion your uncompromising stand for animals.     I have suffered some bad pain in the past with my back problems and I was able to get relief with strong painkillers but at the time I was not aware that they would have most likely have been tested on animals even though I was vegetarian at that time. The de_script_ion of your pain made me cry for you, so I hope with the good wishes of the group you can keep going for the animals you have saved and for all of us. My very best good wishes to you.         Jim.

Get some help. Talk. I have come through depression too - you know, as we have talked before - and I can tell you now, Chad, honestly, things for me have improved beyond all imagination over the last year or so. I felt as low as you sound now, two years back, but with some help and support form the people around you, you will be shocked at just how much things get better. Talk to me. Talk to the group. Whoever. it doesn't matter who as long as you respect the views of that person. They must be honest with you, too, if they are to help. A GOOD counsellor (and yes, there are some good ones) is priceless. Believe me, I know. Drugs - what can I say, I went throughout the same dilemma you are going through now. Do I, don't I, they are tested on animals, what side effects do they cause.... on and on you go, finding lots of reasons not to take any action to improve your position. If you need them, you need them. Of course you should consider all the options - look at St Johns Wort and other things but don't use your deliberations as an excuse to do nothing. Don't give up hope. For me, drugs brought me back from the brink of an abyss that would have resulted in lots of deaths - mine, in the physical sense. My wife, in the spiritual sense. My sister, father, colleagues, friends all would have suffered had I decided to take my life. And so it goes for you, too. Marry your concerns for animals with your concerns for your loved ones (however few they may be - don't think we all have a million friends coz we don't. I have 4 real friends in the whole world, but 4 can be enough). Do you want those people to suffer? Chad, I think you may have suffered bereavements; if so, can you remember how you felt when you went through your grief? Do you want others to go through those feelings, too? Chad, you have too much to offer to give it all up. You give a shit, and that is a whole lot more potential than most people have! I'm not belittling the arguments you have made not to live or to take prescribed medicines - they are all valid points, to a degree. But they all undermine one fundamental point. You have a right to live. Simple as that. It doesn't matter why or who/what gave life to you. You are here and you are happening. Fact. Don't waste your life, Chad. It is so very precious. Talk to me anytime, friend.

Chad - Thank you for sharing how you feel!  I also want to thank those who extended such heartfelt advice and concern.  I found it inspiring!  My thoughts on the matter are thus:  You are human and subject to conceiving of yourself as less than perfect.  Take heart in the fact that you value your principles so highly, and that you seek to live wholly.  Your integrity provides a foundation for you to build a life that gives to others.  You give by virtue of existence, and living for the possibility of compassion and peace.  I will repeat the fact that this inspires me, to be something larger than I ever conceived. Judging yourself as wrong for taking the medication is just that, your judgement.  That you acknowledge the fact that the products do not fit your ideology, that is a step in the right direction.  You must also acknowledge that you can choose to live, and be an influence to others. Share with them what being compassionate has brought you, share that light.  Dead or powerless in pain, you are not present to the possibility of compassion and love. Peace to you, Jeff (fmurcielago) Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.